i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
