the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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