can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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