did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
