He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize