dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
