It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
