ya dads aren't the best wingmen
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
