Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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