you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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