I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
