Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
