conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
