I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He kissed a someone with a penis
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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