he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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