She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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