i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
