You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize