If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
