oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Drunk is not a location!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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