Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
