She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
barbara walters just said penis...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
