it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
