Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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