I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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