Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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