i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
