I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
