no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
