how can u be prego again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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