it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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