That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im calling her cock vulture from now on
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
