apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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