garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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