YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
