I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
