In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
