I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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