I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
