He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Randomize