OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
