If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
