Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
should my penis look like a turkey
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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