This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
