check it out our google latitudes are spooning
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
