she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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