Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
