Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
