Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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