I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
