We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize