Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
