summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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