I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You smell like stripper and shame
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
