god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
