dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I need moral support for this bender
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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