I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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