No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
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