I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
How naked do you want me to be?
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