I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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